…bebel time..

I have made a promise to myself the other day that today,i will come up with a decision..i’ve been putting off doing that for a while and now i couldnt even remember decison about what?hehe..what was the question again..i found me asking myself..

Now that several aspects of my life has been improving,and yet i felt empty..i have no concrete sense of self anymore..I am at the state of no identity to base my day to day goals,and long term plan..

i am that humpty dumpty who sat on a wall..so i need to decide on which one of the two sides i want to slid off to..before i’m too tired and fall,

to which all the king’s men and all the king horses couldn’t put me back together again..

( i took several minute pause)

Wait,i’m no humpty dumpty who sat on a wall..i am the humpty dumpty who has already fallen and broke to pieces..

how do i pick up ‘me’ again? or Do i want to pick ‘me’ up again?

oh..now i remember what the decision i need to make is all about..

I need to establish a ‘want’ to get up again..so i need to have reason to ‘want’..

I cant seem to find the reason

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