hmmm..the talk i have with Liz the other day..akhirnya terkeluar pasal the life after death..the believe in Supreme Being that we ask for so many things..happiness,wellbeing..dan dalam hak meminta,kita ada tanggungjawab..tanggungjawab yg bukan erti kata kalo ko berkerja ko dapat duit,tapi tanggungjawab dlm bentuk,kalo ko jalankannya,ko sendiri yg beruntung..
on one topic i asked for her opinion,she said,
"go for things that makes you happy,and i don’t think you will loose your faith if you choose to do that..you always still believe that God still there for you.."
on which my replies is
"What’s good about having faith when you didn’t embrace it all,whole,everything..
When you choose some of it and ditching some others..doesn’t it count as faith.Thats not faith at all."
She just "oh, yeah…" we went quite for a while..and then she blurted out..
"but this leave you with what? It will be hell living like that.You know this is not just this one case,a confusion or something,this is you.I dun want to put crazy idea in your head,but would it be possible if you.. i dun’t know.. stays and live here..so that.. y’know.."
"Well too bad la Liz.hehe.Look like this is what is in store for me.This is my test.I believe i didn’t suffer for nothing." i grinned..
but hell yeah..i’m suffering..He just know where to poke to sent me and my life flying all over the place..huhuhu..Sumer org ader ujian yg tersendiri,bergantung kepada kekuatan dan kelemahan..bla bla.
Right now,i just want to whine..ALOT..hehe..maybe after a few cry i’ll be ok..hehe
i always be ok in the end..just a matter of time..